29 Things I’d Only Say If I Were Kidnapped

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Today is my birthday, and I’m celebrating by sharing the usual annual post. In the past, I’ve covered topics like anime, programming languages, and music, but this year I want to do something a bit more silly. In 2023 for my 29th birthday, I’m sharing the 29 things I’d only say if I were kidnapped. Let’s get to it!

Table of Contents

29 Sweet Little Lies

Each year for my birthday, I like to put together one of these list posts. Given that I’m 29 this year, I figured it’s time to retire the long format and shift to a literal list. That should save me a ton of time and make the post itself more enjoyable. At the end, I’ll commentate on some of my favorite items in the list. At any rate, here are the 29 things I’d only say if I were kidnapped (and yes, this is proper grammar. I checkedOpens in a new tab..):

  1. Mami is best girl
  2. Football is my favorite sport
  3. I love to use C++
  4. Country music is the best genre of music
  5. I wish I could grade more assignments
  6. I always look back fondly on my digital logic labs course
  7. Naruto is the best Shonen
  8. If I could travel anywhere, it would be Utah
  9. Schools should really give more exams
  10. I really hope the flyers win the cup soon
  11. Digimon is better than Pokémon
  12. If only it would snow more
  13. I really love the sound of someone chewing food
  14. Genji is my favorite hero in Overwatch
  15. Maybe Thanos was right
  16. My diet should really include more sugar and alcohol
  17. I love doing the same walk every day
  18. Engineering is the best job in the world
  19. I really wish health insurance costed more
  20. We need more billionaires like Elon Musk
  21. Driving is so awesome; I wish we had even more roads (preferable of the toll variety)
  22. It’s too bad everyone cares about code readability
  23. Fossil fuels are incredibly based
  24. If possible, I would love to receive even more scam calls
  25. Andrew Tate really is the Top G
  26. Smurfing is a valid way to play competitive video games
  27. The average dude could definitely beat a pig in a fight
  28. Every game lobby should be like old-school Modern Warfare lobby
  29. I’m a morning person; please talk to me right when I get up

And that’s it! I had a lot of fun with this one as I thought about all the things I’d never say. And as someone doing ethnographic research, it’s kind of cool to define myself by the things I don’t like. Anyway, in the next section, I’ll highlight some of my favorites. Then, I’ll call it a day!

Discussing Favorites

When I look over the list above, just about everything is tied to some key memory. For instance, #6 alludes to a course I took in undergrad that changed the trajectory of my career. In fact, a few of these items played an important role in who I am today, such as #17, #18, and #21.

That said, I think one of my favorites is #27, which stems from a recurring argument with a couple of my friends. If you ever get the chance to debate which animals you could beat up, don’t! That conversation is about as toxic as a game of Monopoly. That said, I have some really funny memories debating the possibility of beating a pig in hand-to-hand combat. You already know my take on it.

Another one of my favorites is #6, which brings me back to a time when I was working on hardware. The class was so brutal that I ended up becoming a software guy. Though, the single most important event in that trajectory had to be the time I spent a day writing code to spin a motor only to find out the motor was dead. Never again will I waste my time like that.

Outside of those two, most of these just get at my interests and personality. For instance, I am absolutely not a morning person. Likewise, I can’t stand billionaires, repetitive activities, or smurfs. Oh and for the record, Chizuru is best girl.

At any rate, I think I’m going to call it on this post. The short list was a nice change of pace! Now, I don’t have to worry about the topic like 3 months in advance. That said, if you liked the old style, here are a few you can browse:

Otherwise, take care, and I hope I see you again for my 30th!

Happy Birthday to Me (8 Articles)—Series Navigation

Every year I like to write a list post to celebrate my birthday. I’ve been doing this since my 23rd birthday in 2017, and I plan to keep that trend indefinitely. Of course, I’ll need to come up with cool ideas every year, so don’t hesitate to share some of your own.

Jeremy Grifski

Jeremy grew up in a small town where he enjoyed playing soccer and video games, practicing taekwondo, and trading Pokémon cards. Once out of the nest, he pursued a Bachelors in Computer Engineering with a minor in Game Design. After college, he spent about two years writing software for a major engineering company. Then, he earned a master's in Computer Science and Engineering. Today, he pursues a PhD in Engineering Education in order to ultimately land a teaching gig. In his spare time, Jeremy enjoys spending time with his wife, playing Overwatch and Phantasy Star Online 2, practicing trombone, watching Penguins hockey, and traveling the world.

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