Life – Page 9 – The Renegade Coder

Recently, Morgan and I went on a rather lengthy vacation to visit our families. What began as a fun trip to relieve stress turned into a stress-inducing journey. When vacation is more stressful than work, it's probably time to reconsider your trip. A Day in the Life If you know me, you know that lately I've been in this awkward transition period between work and education. In fact, I quit my job at the end of March, and I won't begin attending school until mid-August. As a result, I've been grinding away at this site and my various coding projects including Sample Programs in Every Language. On top of everything, my work has started to expand into the community, and I've begun to get some of my first guest authors. Not only is that huge for the growth of the site, but it's also really exciting. I feel like I'm starting to build something of value for other people. Taking a Break Of course, eventually even the most passionate need to take a break. After all, life works best in moderation, and I was fortunate enough to take a little vacation. For my wife and I, vacation took the form of a 10-day trip back home. Take a look at the following high-level itinerary: DateJeremyMorgan6/2/18Travel to ErieTravel to Erie6/3/18Attend HamfestVisit Grandmother6/4/18Visit Columbus Check out ApartmentsVisit Columbus Check out Apartments6/5/18Check out Apartments Attend Family Graduation DinnerCheck out Apartments Attend Family Graduation Dinner6/6/18Spend Time with FamilyCelebrate Grandfather's Birthday6/7/18Visit Scratch N' Dent Visit Presque Isle Spend Time with FamilyVisit Scratch N' Dent Visit Presque Isle Spend Time with Family6/8/18Visit Cleveland Watch CavsVisit Cleveland Watch Cavs6/9/18Host Wedding Party Camping at Allegany State ParkHost Wedding Party Camping at Allegany State Park6/10/18Camping at Allegany State ParkCamping at Allegany State Park6/11/18Travel to AtlantaTravel to Atlanta As a fun tidbit, I don't own a laptop, so I actually didn't even touch the site or GitHub for the full ten days. It was pretty exhilarating, but I'm excited to get back to the grind. Areas of Stress That said, our vacation wasn't easy. As the title suggests, our vacation was more stressful than work. That's because we were trying to accomplish too much in those ten days. For instance, we tried to do all of the following: Attend a HamfestSpend time with Morgan's grandmotherSign for an apartment in ColumbusAttend high school graduation festivitiesCelebrate various birthdaysHost a wedding partyGo campingWatch the Cavs in Clevelandetc. etc. etc. Overall, I think we were a little insane. Who thought all this was a good idea? At any rate, let's take a look at some of these areas and examine the stress they brought us. Hamfest If you're unfamiliar with the concept of a Hamfest, I'll have you know that it has nothing to do with pig meat. Instead, a Hamfest is an Amateur Radio convention. As it turns out, I am a licensed Amateur Radio operator. While I've never used the skill, I've been going to the Breezeshooters Hamfest every year for probably over ten years with my father. As a result, I didn't want to miss out this year. Unfortunately, we weren't planning to head home until June 6th, and the Hamfest was June 2-3. If I wanted to make it to the Hamfest, Morgan and I were going to have to head out a few days early. Pets As alluded to previously, we ultimately decided to head out early which caused a bit of pet-related stress. After all, we own two cats who need a lot of attention and care. With the trip picking up a couple extra days, we were forced to find someone who could take care of our cats. Does it really get any cuter than these two? While finding someone wasn't too hard, we did sit around and think about them during our vacation. What can I say? We love our cats! Medical Issues Around the same time that we decided to move the trip up a few days, Morgan's grandmother took a nasty fall which put her in surgery. Fortunately, she made it through surgery. She just had to go through a lengthy recovery. Unfortunately, there was a lot of familial guilt coming our way for not being there. Of course, pushing up the trip any more was almost entirely out of the question, and we could clearly see through the irrational guilt. But, that didn't mean we didn't get a little stressed as a result. Graduation Festivities In addition to everything already stated, the increased duration of the trip opened up the possibility for additional graduation festivities. As a result, Morgan was forced to go to a graduation dinner for her sister. Later, I was conned to attend as well. Personally, I had no interest in attending this event, but I was forced to fill in because Morgan's grandmother couldn't make it. Naturally, tension built up between Morgan and I which made the trip a bit more stressful. In addition, there was the actual graduation which we ultimately did not attend—more on that later. Apartment Hunting While we were up there, we decided to try to get an apartment for our eventual move. Since we never got to see the apartment we moved into in Atlanta, we figured we'd make the effort to visit a few in Columbus. Overall, we attempted to visit four different apartments before ultimately settling on the last apartment we visited. Of course, not everything was easy. Naturally, we didn't know the city, so driving was rather stressful. In addition, many of the places we visited were not in the Goldilocks zone. In other words, some places were too expensive while others were too far away from school. Of all the places we visited, one of the places wouldn't even give us a tour because they only allowed for a single pet. That's hardly pet-friendly in my book. At any rate, we managed to sign for an apartment in the span of two days. Talk about efficiency. Wedding Party If we're being honest, the only reason we came up was for the wedding party. After hosting a wedding for about 20 people, we felt it was only fair to our family to host a casual get together. In case you were wondering what the party looked like, here's a pic from setup. That said, planning wasn't easy. While we wanted a simple potluck, family members were pulling at us to host something more formal. In addition—as you'll find out later—tensions were pretty high coming into the party. By the end of the whole shebang, we were wishing we never even planned a party. Luckily for us, the party went off without a hitch. In fact, there was not a single thing I could complain about. Sure, some family members made some awkward comments about the wedding and the name change, but I was ultimately very happy with the turnout. Camping When everything was said and done, we decided to go camping. That said, going camping wasn't an easy decision to make with family still in the hospital. Regardless, we went camping anyway. After all, we were basically begging to go off the grid at that point. Unfortunately, it rained the entire first night and most of the next morning. As a result, parts of the tent were wet as well as our chairs. We had to wait until the afternoon of the following day before we could even start enjoying the trip. While we had the sites booked for two more days, we weren't exactly thrilled to hike through mud. As a result, we decided to cut the trip short to head home. Driving A subject that continues to be glossed over is the driving. While I enjoy driving, it does wear me down over time. Now, if we plot all our travel, the driving really starts to add up: Atlanta to Erie: 12 hoursErie to Columbus: 3.5 hoursColumbus to Erie: 3.5 hoursErie to Cleveland: 1.5 hoursCleveland to Erie: 1.5 hoursErie to Salamanca: 1.5 hoursSalamanca to Atlanta: 13 hours In total, we spent at least 36.5 hours on the road. Of course, that doesn't include stopping for gas and food, rerouting due to road closures, and rush hour traffic. As a result, we're easily looking at 40 hours on the road. Over time, driving can wear you down which can make the rest of your trip more stressful. Who can blame me for wanting to stay away from the car for a little while? Familial Guilt Previously, I mentioned familial guilt, and I wanted to touch on it again because it constantly seems to drag us down. That said, this section will be brief. In the future, you can expect a full blown article on it. Anyway, I wanted to mention familial guilt because it caused us a lot of stress this trip and in general. For instance, we have been guilt tripped for the following over the past year: Not visiting sooner/enoughHosting a potluck wedding party instead of a formal partyNot having a dance floor or DJ at either the wedding or the partyChanging our last namesNot attending a family dance recitalHaving a wedding too quickly after the engagementNot coming over for dinnerNot wanting to attend graduationDoing things ourselvesNot asking for help enoughetc. etc. etc. Of this list, many were just from this trip which I find incredible. Instead of being grateful for driving a combined 40 hours for a 10-day trip, many people seemed to think we weren't doing enough. I suppose the old adage is right: give them an inch, and they'll take a mile. In general, however, we enjoyed spending time with our families. I just mention the guilt tripping because it did wear us down a bit. Combine this with the other topics I've mentioned, and you may just wonder why we even went on vacation at all. When Stress Boils Over Near the middle of the trip, I was feeling kind of tired and unappreciated, so I started to distance myself from people for a bit. On one particular occasion, I spent the day with Morgan and dropped her off at the end of the day. Apparently, my lack of presence for dinner that evening stirred up a disagreement which ultimately turned physical. I won't explain the story out of respect for those individuals, but I will share the emotional pain it caused us. After all, I write because I forget, and I wouldn't want to forget what happened that evening. Anyway, Morgan was kicked out of her house just two days prior to our wedding party. Unfortunately, her family refused to stay away from the party, so we spent a couple days worrying about the various ways they may sabotage the party. Beyond a couple of nasty comments, nothing really happened. In fact, it was kind of nice. We were able to have the party we wanted, and no one was trying to take control. Overall, I'd say everything worked out. The Flood of Work Upon returning from our trip, Morgan and I have found ourselves swamped in work. Check out the list of things we've accomplished since we've gotten home: Changed name with registrar at future employerChanged name with admissions at future employerScheduled two exams for licensureBooked a UHAUL for movingApplied to jobs Of course, it's good to be back regardless. We're happy to be preparing for another move, and we're looking forward to our lives ahead.