31 Lessons Learned as a New Dad | The Renegade Coder

This year, I turn 31. Coincidentally, my daughter also turns 1. What a better time than now to share some lessons learned about parenting. Life With a Baby As you might know, my wife and I had our first kid in late January 2024. Originally, she was due early March, but she came about six weeks early. As a result, she spent some time in the NICU and was able to come home with us closer to my birthday. Now, she's turning 1 and I'm turning 31. In general, the past year has been really awesome. I had a kid, and I finished grad school. As a result, I was able to close a chapter and start a new one with a focus on parenting. Now, my day-to-day is filled with action. In the mornings, I take care of my kiddo while my wife works. Then, we swap. I go to work helping computer science students then come home to feed the kiddo and put her to bed. As I look over the past year, it was action packed. Naturally, it's really easy to forget what's happened, so this piece is meant as a chance to reflect on and memorialize the past year. Maybe I'll look back on this at some point! Regardless, let's get into my lessons learned. 31 Lessons Learned In this list, a lot of things I knew already or at least had some intuition around, but others I had to learn through hard work. To be honest, I probably learn something new every day, but these 31 items are what came to mind first. Enjoy! Division of labor is huge (find your role and stick to it) Babies develop slowly but time moves quickly Babies don't hold a routine, so adaptability is huge Growing teeth is painful Babies don't need the latest and greatest toys to be entertained; wood blocks still go hard Babies need to be put down for sleep on their back for their safety Babies have a really strong gag reflex, so you don't have to constantly worry about them choking on solids Babies are resilient; it's okay if they bump into things Don't try to make a happy baby happier Breast milk can be salvaged if it has ice crystals in it Don't reveal the name of your baby until they're born People are just going to walk right up to your baby and say the weirdest things (social skills go out the window) Babies shouldn't drink water until they're at least 6 months old and probably not until they're almost a year old; same goes for cow's milk It's okay to set boundaries with family about your baby There is a broad spectrum of acceptable parenting choices; no one approach is correct Premature babies get excellent care in the NICU, and it even makes those first few nights a lot easier for the parents It's not emasculating to take care of your kid; real men change diapers Babies mirror your behavior, so you'll find it out quick if you have any annoying behaviors Every high chair and car seat is different; people will laugh at you when can't figure one out while sleep deprived Get ready to build a ton of toys and furniture; also good luck moving furniture regularly as your kid finds new and interesting ways to hurt themselves Don't forget to take care of yourself too You're not a bad parent if your kid sees a screen every now and then You are going to very quickly become desensitized to gross things (spit, drool, snot, pee, poop, etc.) Other babies are just never as cute as yours Dad strength happens because of all the stuff you have to carry Road trips are 10 times harder; in fact, making any sort of plans is harder Your baby will poop the moment you take them into public Things get easier as you become a better parent, but new challenges always arise Babies can't really communicate their needs, so a solid checklist is helpful (tired, dirty diaper, hungry, lonely, bored, etc.) Cats don't really like babies Parenting is awesome, and I love my kiddo And, that'll about do it! Enjoying My Early 30s Now with the first year down, I need to keep a close eye on my kiddo as she's starting to grow more defiant. Oh, the toddler is going to slowly kill me, isn't it? Apologies for not sharing any photos or details about the kiddo. I really want to respect her privacy. If she wants to share that kind of stuff later, she is welcome to, but I'm going to continue hiding her face from the internet. With that said, here's to another year of life! It's kind of crazy to be 31. I think I still pass as a bit younger—at least according to my students—but I don't think that's going to last too much longer. After all, I'm a literal uncle to two nieces and a nephew, so the unc status is coming. As for next year, I've had an article planned for a while to talk about my college memories. A few buddies of mine still reminisce about those days, so I figured I'd finally put some of the stories to paper. So, look forward to some college stories in 2026. Then, I'm planning out another lessons learned piece, as this website will have been live for 10 years in 2027. Isn't that crazy? Since you'll be waiting a year for another article in this series, why not check out some of the older lists? 29 Things I’d Only Say If I Were Kidnapped 27 Best Anime Backed by Science 24 People Successful by the Age of 24 Likewise, are you looking for a birthday gift for me? If so, check out my list of ways to grow the site. Otherwise, take care! I'll see you next time.