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For this special day, I wanted to write something a little on the spooky side. In fact, you might recall I had a little rant earlier in the week about my run in with one of my grad school references as application deadlines approach. Well, I've decided to move that rant content here and expand on it a bit. The Path to Success As many of you know, I'm in the process of changing career paths. The details as to why are a bit out of the scope of this article, but there will be several articles on that in the future. For now, I want to talk briefly about how I got to where I'm at today. An Undergraduate Application or Two When I was in high school, I really didn't think too much about the future. I was just going through the motions, so I hadn't identified a career trajectory. I was living in the moment. Unfortunately, time doesn't ever stop for you to figure out your life. Instead, you're stuck figuring that out as you go. For me, that meant satisfying my parents by pursuing a degree in Computer Engineering. At the time, I chose Computer Engineering because I wasn't sure if I would even like code, and I figured the degree would be flexible enough to allow me to switch to hardware if needed. Eventually, I ended up applying to four universities: Penn State, University of Michigan, Case Western Reserve University, and Carnegie Mellon. Among those institutions, I was only accepted to CWRU and PSU, and I was wait listed at U of M. Most people in my family wanted me to attend PSU, and one of my best friends was actually attending school there. However, I ended up going to CWRU because I wanted the flexibility of being able to decide what I wanted to do with my life. PSU was far too rigid, and I couldn't afford to tack on a couple extra years of schooling just to get a degree. Degree Experimentation When I arrived at CWRU, I had this urge to sort of defy my parents and pursue a degree in Music. Honestly, I had been playing trombone for 7 years up to that point, and it was the only thing that I really enjoyed. At some point, I found myself auditioning to become a music major, and I was fortunate enough to succeed. However, after about eight weeks of struggling to balance music and engineering, I decided to succumb to the system and give up music. From that point forward, I was strictly a Computer Engineering major. Unfortunately, I realized that universities are not the best place to figure out what you want to do with your life. Up to two years of your undergraduate career is devoted to basic courses that often have little to do with your degree. In addition, universities offer almost no practical experience in your major, so you never really find out what your major is like in the real world. But, don't take it from me: https://youtu.be/T24DPU-hkJM The only thing I learned by the time I was done was that I didn't like hardware. I really wished that I had done a Computer Science degree as I could have taken more software courses. The Real World I promised that I wouldn't talk too much about why I decided to apply to grad school, but I will talk a bit about my real world experience. Between my junior and senior years of college, I ended doing an internship in my major. This was perhaps the rudest of awakenings. I knew almost immediately that this wasn't something I wanted to do with my life, but we all have to earn money, right? So, I actually ended up securing a job with that company full time following college. Fast forward about two years, and you'll find that I'm still there. The Escape Route About three months into my new job, I decided that I needed to do literally anything else. As a result, I started a website with a friend of mine. If you recall, it was called Cybrotronics, and we did product reviews, technical articles, and SOLIDWORKS videos. Or rather, I just did everything, but we've already been through that rant. Just like in a regular corporate environment, the amount of work I was putting in did not reflect the return. In other words, regardless of how much I was carrying the team, I had to share the wealth. As a result, I decided to part ways with that site and start my own site, The Renegade Coder. Around the time I started The Renegade Coder, I decided that I needed a couple more backup plans. My current job was miserable, I was gaining weight, and I was growing depressed. I did a lot of reflection, and I determined that teaching was something I wanted to try. Clearly, I enjoy it, or I wouldn't have this website. That's when I decided the next logical move was to apply to grad schools, but I knew I couldn't apply to Masters programs. I had to go BIG. Encountering a Nightmare For those of you who have been following along, I started applying to PhD programs in Computer Science back in July. The idea came about because I was getting sick of the corporate environment, so I figured the next logical move would be to hop back into academia. After all, I love teaching, and I figured this would be the right move for me. Learning the Qualifications Now, I didn’t know anything about the application process, so I started doing research like crazy. It got to a point where I was feeling pretty disheartened because I didn’t really fit the profile of the ideal PhD student. In fact, I have no research experience, so I was starting to feel like I was wasting my time. Most people I talked to advised that I do a Masters program instead to build up research experience. Of course, that seems logical, but I absolutely cannot do that. First, Masters programs cost money, and I am still thousands of dollars in debt from the last time I was in school. Take it from Adam. Student loans are evil. https://youtu.be/pVKEsiNMPNc In addition, a free Masters degree is offered through my job, so it would be fiscally irresponsible to quit. Working Around Deficiencies As a result, I decided to start the application process by focusing on areas like my teaching and work experience as well as this website. Of course, I also tried to score well on the GRE, and I figured it would be a good idea to highlight my study abroad experiences. To further improve my chances, I also looked into programs which were less theoretical. For instance, I looked for programs that would combine my application skills with other topics of interest like game development and music. By the time I had applied to every school in my list, I was feeling pretty confident. Dodgy Professors That was until today. If you haven’t heard, most schools require three letters of recommendation. Since I had almost no clue who to ask, I had to do a lot of thinking. I ultimately decided on a Computer Science professor, a Psychology professor, and a Music professor from abroad. I sent out the first email requesting letters back in July as I figured there would be some downtime to get it done. I also figured being proactive would work in my favor. Unfortunately, it didn’t. All three professors willingly agreed to write me a letter. However, it was only the Psychology professor that submitted letters in a timely manner. To this day, I am still begging the other two to submit their letters. With deadlines coming up as early as mid-November, I think I have the right to be a bit nervous. Last night I decided to send out a catered list of schools to the final two professors. One of them has yet to respond while the other sent me a harrowing response: As you know I am glad to help and it has been a pleasure to write you a letter in support for your application to . As for , as we discussed, it is a prerequisite to have a Masters degree (or be about to complete one) to be considered. It is also good practice to have discussed your proposal with someone in the department and have a potential pre-agreement of future supervision. I trust this is normal practice in academia, at least here in the UK. I am telling you the above because in all my years serving in academia I have never been put in a position to have to send a reference for the same candidate to more than an dozen institutions. This is very unusual and specially at PhD level where you really have to discuss your PhD beforehand and often pre-agree supervision. I really can’t write a proper letter of endorsement and spend academic time and effort on PhD applications which are a big shot, because I try to provide detail to the letters I provide for the good of my students. For instance, as I told you over the same, to do PhD in with is we required a Master beforehand (or be enrolled on one to be completed before you start the programme). Despite that, you applied and as a result, quite a few of my colleagues where involved until it was rejected for obvious reasons and I do not feel comfortable about this. Could you please let me know from all the institutions below, how many have to personally discussed your application with a member of staff in their faculty and secured supervision? and also whether they require a Master degree (completed or ongoing) before you apply to PhD. I hope these are reasonable questions to ask and I will be in a better position to confirm whether I can provide my letter suitably letter of recommendation, in the same manner I did to write you the previous one.October 10th, 2017 @ 10:45 AM Translation As no surprise, that giant block of text is probably hard to read. I actually had to read it over a few times because it’s both incoherent and ridiculous. As a bit of background, I am applying to twelve institutions. Some would say that is too many while others might say that’s fine. Personally, I want to ensure that I get in at least somewhere, and I can afford it thanks to my cushy engineering job. Regardless, I didn’t think it would be too much to ask as the letters are largely the same for every institution. I didn’t realize professors took writing lessons from SpongeBob. https://youtu.be/sd2Q6Fagemg In addition, this particular professor is European. From my list of schools, I only applied to two European schools and ten American schools. They only submitted letters to the two European schools, and I already received my rejection from their institution. The reason? I don’t have a Masters degree. That’s it. However, had I known I would have been rejected for such a silly reason, I wouldn’t have applied. Not only does the website of this institution state that US candidates only need a Bachelors to apply, but I was also told by this professor that my work experience could be used as an exception: I have now finished your letter, including some strong performance during your time in . To round up my final sentence, I need to know whether you’ve done PGT (master) studies elsewhere and if not, working in industry may compensate for that in the US when applying for PhD in CS. We would normally not accept PhD applications without having a foundational Masters on the related subject.August, 1st, 2017 @ 5:58 AM Regardless, I believe this professor is both embarrassed and frustrated. It seems they don’t want to submit their letter to any additional institutions because they don’t think I’m capable of getting accepted. How’s that for a confidence booster? A Rapid Response So, what did I do? Well naturally, I fired back. I’m a bit irritated by how late in the game this professor is voicing their opinion. I have been trying to get them to submit their letters since July, so this is just downright ridiculous. Here’s my response: I apologize for all the work and confusion you’ve had over the last several months, but I do not find my request unreasonable. It seems Europe handles graduate school quite differently than the US. In addition, I suppose even Music departments handle their programs a bit differently than Engineering departments. For example, MIT has the following stated on their website: “The EECS Department is the largest in the School of Engineering with about 700 graduate students in the doctoral program. [Application is for the doctoral program only — there is no terminal masters degree, but all PhD students earn a masters degree as they work towards PhD. A Masters of Engineering is only available for qualified MIT EECS undergraduates.] “ Of course, eligibility for the program is simply defined as follows: “We expect an applicant to have earned a Bachelor’s degree by the time he/she registers in EECS, and possess a very strong background in math, physics, computer science, or engineering. Admission is extremely competitive.” I use MIT as an example because it’s one of the best schools in the world for Computer Science, so a lot of institutions follow suit. In fact, all the institutions I am applying to have no hard or fast rules about the degree requirement which is why I am a little frustrated with . Some of the best institutions in the world understand that deficiencies can be made up through other experiences, but I digress. Now typically, graduate schools in the US have a single application period a year – Autumn. If selected, the applicant is granted admission for the following Autumn, so the process takes over a year to complete. In addition, applicants are required to complete a standardized test called the GRE, submit three letters of recommendation, complete a statement of purpose, and complete supplemental paperwork depending on the institution. I chose 12 schools because I wanted to ensure success at at least one of the institutions for the following year. If I am not admitted to any schools, I will be forced to wait an additional year before applying again. Also, for reference, acceptance rates in Computer Science can vary between 5%-15% regardless of how good the application is. Often times these sort of selection processes are random, so it make sense to cover a lot of bases. Now, you have to understand that the typical length of a PhD program in the US is 4-6 years. The first year is usually for taking courses and qualifying exams. In fact, students can’t pick an advisor or a research project until they pass their qualifying exams. As a result, there is no way to secure supervision before the application is accepted. That being said, I have reached out to at least one faculty member at every school in the list. Not everyone has responded, but I have had many conversations with a few. Namely, . As a bit of support on my end, I’ve found a little article that details the basics of the US PhD application system. All that said, I am a bit frustrated with how dodgy you’ve been about this whole situation. I reached out all the way back in July to avoid peak school season and to give plenty of time to complete the work. If it’s too much work or you’re no longer comfortable writing the letter, let me know. However, I would appreciate it sooner rather than later. Application deadlines are coming up quickly, and I would hate to swamp another professor with ten letters this late in the game.October 10th, 2017 @ 12:14 PM Moving Forward Needless to say, I didn’t put myself in the best position. If I don’t get a letter, I have to reach out to someone in a sort of panic. If I do get a letter, it’s likely going to reflect poorly on me. However, I am at the point where I don’t much care. If this is how academia is going to be, I don’t want to be a part of it. Regardless, the professor got back to me the next day with the following email: I will be uploading my reference to all these places as soon as I can. It is always a great pleasure to provide reference to former students.October 11th, 2017 @ 7:08 AM Honestly, I don't feel great about that response, but there's not much I can do about it now. I did reach out to another professor last night in a bit of a panic, so I'll hopefully have a backup if I don't get my letters. Reflecting on the Situation I guess the part that really frustrates me is the fact that the entire scenario boils down to a number. For instance, how would this situation had been different had I asked for 10 letters? What about 8 letters? What is the proper threshold? It kills me because I would do it myself if I could, but like everything else I’m stuck trying to please someone. Give me a break. Of course, I've also started to adopt that "everything happens for a reason" mentality as it seems almost nothing has gone my way since I graduated. I'm starting to wonder if I'm being guided toward my true passion, or if the world is just a really harsh place. For now, I'm going to relax while binge watching an old favorite: Your Lie in April. Here's a song off the OST performed by one of my favorite YouTube pianists: Theishter. https://youtu.be/uLFtmJlzKvE Anyhow, I’m still an eternal optimist, so I’m hoping for the best. Even in the worst case scenario, I have a TEFL certificate to fall back on. I can hardly wait for this struggle to be over. But Wait, There's More! Alright, it's 12:00 AM here on Friday, October 13th. I have this post queued up for 11:11 AM, but I figured I'd update y'all with what has happened. Despite this being the spookiest day of the year, I actually have some decent news. The situation described above has turned around dramatically. A Panic Email After that horrible email chain on Tuesday, I went through my day pretty frustrated and worried. By the end of that day, I couldn't fall asleep. I just thought that I had to find a backup plan. As a result, I ended up reaching out to one of my music professors from undergrad at about 3 AM. Long story short, I explained the situation to them before going to bed. The next evening I received the following response: What a nice surprise to hear from one of my all time favorite students. I would be honored and excited to help you out.Obviously, my recommendation would be centered on your outstanding:CharacterDispositionWork EthicReliabilityDedicationEtc. Etc. Etc. I would not be able to speak on behalf of your academic potential in computer science, as this is obviously not my field of expertise, but I am hopeful what I can speak on will be of tremendous value to you. Let me know what I need to do Jeremy (and if you want me to be a part of your portfolio). Most institutions now take recommendations directly on line, but I am also able to do HARD COPY letters is this is required. I am excited to here from you soon.I hope all is well and please know I sure miss everyone in Cleveland. All the best.October 11th, 2017 @ 7:18 PM Making the Best of a Bad Situation I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting such an incredible email. There was no way I was going to let this opportunity pass me by, so I decided to take them up on the offer. I immediately looked over my list of schools to figure out which ones would be the best fit for this new letter. Ultimately, I decided on a set of schools that would let me do research related to music. After that, I simply swapped the references out and sent a revised list to both professors. Now, the European professor only has to submit three more letters. Hopefully that isn't too much for them. ;) Edit: since deleting comments on my site, I figured I'd share some old thoughts: