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Lately, I've been thinking about motivation strategies, and I've noticed a trend in the tech space: we just love to motivate through fear. In particular, I've found that organizations often try to retain talent by threatening them rather than nurturing them, and it's resulted in a rather nasty culture. In this article, I want to share some of my experiences with this culture, so hopefully we can rethink the way we treat each other. Specifically, I'll cover two major incidences: one from back in industry and one that is ongoing. See you at the finish line! Déjà Vu If you've been following me on my PhD journey—or even my life journey, honestly—you know that I've been trying to make some changes. In particular, I'm trying to move on from Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) and into Engineering Education. Unfortunately, in no time while I've been a student here has anyone tried to make the experience good for me. As a result, they're losing me, and they're bitter about it. Instead of addressing my concerns, they're using thinly veiled threats to try to retain me through fear. In all this trouble, I've realized that this transition is strangely reminiscent of the time I quit my job at General Electric (GE). Back then, I remember being really nervous about quitting. When I finally went about it, my boss tried to convince me otherwise. First, they questioned me with phrases like "are you comfortable with that?" as if to guilt trip me into staying. Meanwhile, they were behind the scenes trying to orchestrate a deal with my current team, so I could stay on longer. Before I knew it, I was strung along for another 3 months until I was "allowed" to leave. I felt that was a little odd considering companies can fire people whenever they want. Dealing With Snark Again, I find myself in a similar situation. Roughly a year and a half into my academic career, I've realized this isn't for me. When I mentioned it to my advisor, they were actually quite supportive. Unfortunately, they still wanted to find a way to keep me around, and they even told me I should "consider taking the qualifying exam again." That said, I'm really thankful for how awesome my advisor has been in this whole process. It's my human resources (HR) contact that has been a bit more irritating about the process. Specifically, they LOVE to employ snarky remarks about how I should "think hard about my decision" as if I'm doing this for shits n' giggles. And, don't think for a second that I'm not going to drag them with their own quotes. In the following subsections, I'm going to share every correspondence I've ever hard with this person just to catalogue how nasty they've been with me. Q&A With HR To kick off this thread, I figured I'd share the latest instance of snark from HR. In particular, I was asking them for help with transitioning between departments which I kicked off with the following email: I wanted to reach out because I'm potentially going through a transition into a new department, and I wanted to make sure that I was following all the correct procedures. If I were to complete a Masters with a project, does that project have to be code-based? Could it be research-based? For example, let's say I wanted to collect qualitative data from students in CSE and report my findings in a journal. Would that be allowed? Or do I strictly need to complete a software project? If so, could the software doing to data analysis count? On a side note, if I were to pass the qualifying exam, would that count as passing the comprehensive exam? Also, the website states that 6 credits from outside the department can't count if they're approved by the committee. How do I get those credits confirmed? Apologies for all the questions. The Masters requirements are quite a bit different from the PhD requirements, so I'm having trouble navigating that space.Jeremy Grifski - 10/21/19, 5:08 PM Fortunately, I received fairly detailed response with minimal snark: Trying to split things up a bit on the answer: 1. A phd student has to petition to go from the Phd to the MS degree. I see that your AU19 quals score was not as you had hoped, but you will be required to go for the second try in spring. 2. If a petition is approved, it’s likely, but not guaranteed, that your qualifying score would count for the MS comprehensive exam. You might want to include that in your petition 3. If you do a project, you don’t have to take the comprehensive exam. You have an MS project presentation that stands in for the MS exam. 4. The work done for the project is highly dependent on the person advising the project. It is up to them if it is code vs research based. The only CSE rule is a paper that goes along with it to be about 12 pages or so. 5. I don’t know anything about the options for reporting findings in a journal. I thought there were rules about collecting data and using it, but you’ll have to ask someone else about that. 6. The 6 credits of non-CSE credit hours toward degree requirements have to be CSE related. ECE, Math, Statistics, ACCAD, and linguistics are the basic automatic options. Others have to be approved by your advisor and possibly even the Graduate Studies Chair. MS degree requirements are more detailed with more definite requirements. You are welcome to stop by and talk in person if you like. However, and I can’t stress this enough, you must first petition to change from Phd to MS. It is not a guarantee and you have to have really good reasons for taking a Phd spot and giving it up.CSE HR - 10/21/2019, 5:35 PM At that point, I was feeling pretty comfortable about the whole exchange, so I started asking other questions: Thanks again for all your help. I appreciate how quick you were to get back to me, and I might take you up on the chat sometime. Quick follow-up: if I petition and it goes through, does anything happen with me current funding?Jeremy Grifski - 10/21/19, 9:17 PM Here, I was trying to find out if I'd lose funding mid-semester or between semesters. Obviously, I wouldn't keep funding long term, but I wasn't sure if my contract still held. Unfortunately, HR didn't exactly answer my question: Yep, you lose guaranteed funding going forward if the petition is approved for you to go from Phd to MS. However, lucky you to be teaching 2221. We always need experienced 2221 TAs :o)CSE HR - 10/22/19, 8:38 AM As usual, the snark finds its way back into our discussion. There are very few things I hate more than being belittled with phrases like "lucky you" as if I hadn't worked for it. Even worse, this email feels like some power trip where they could play gatekeeper and take away my teaching job. Also, the smiley face is just the icing on the cake. At any rate, I had more questions, so I fired away: Awesome! That's great news. Two more questions popped into my mind. Apologies for the barrage. - For the project-base Masters, the 6 project S/U credits have to be across consecutive semesters. Does that include Summer? Or could I do Spring then Fall? - What courses count toward that 6-credit requirement? Independent Study? Thesis? Thanks again.Jeremy Grifski - 10/22/19, 11:23 AM With each question, the responses shrunk: SP then AU is okay as long as you are not signed up for SU classes. Any graduate level CSE S/U class counts for the project credit.CSE HR - 10/22/19, 1:55 PM At that point, I ran out of questions! For once, HR was actually helpful with only minimal snark. Unfortunately, that was about as good as it ever got. Scheduling a Cross-Department Meeting Around the same time I was quizzing HR about leaving the department, I was in contact with my potential new department. To aid in my transition, they offered to schedule a meeting with my current department to hash things out: I'd like to set up a meeting to discuss Jeremy Grifski's trajectory through CSE and Engineering Education. Can you please fill out this when2meet at your earliest convenience?EED HR - 10/29/19, 9:34 AM Naturally, I filled out the form and waited to find out the meeting time. Can you guess who didn't fill out the form? Hi Jeremy, Can you give some information to help us determine what this meeting is about? I don’t feel comfortable walking into a meeting I know nothing about.CSE HR 1 - 10/29/19, 2:59 PM Well isn't that cute? I'd only been discussing this transition with them a week ago. How quickly could they have possible forgotten? As always, I stayed composed and offered a condensed response: Yeah! Mainly, we want to get together to try to map out the transition process from CSE to EED. In other words, what exactly would I need to do to make that transition possible. To summarize, I'm trying to drop into a project-based masters in CSE while also enrolling in a PhD in EED. It's turning out to be a lot more complicated than I thought, so we wanted to sit down and talk it out with some of the experts in each department. Oddly enough, another person in HR jumped into the chat with the following dismissive response: All this is a transfer of degree program. The easy way to is to complete the CSE program and then transfer over to EED.CSE HR 2 - 10/29/19, 3:11 PM To which I responded again with some basic concerns: Agreed, but there's two risks involved here: 1. I have to get accepted 2. I have to have funding In other words, I was hoping to do the following: 1. Apply for dual enroll2. Get accepted3. Petition to drop into masters4. Finish CSE masters while concurrently enrolled in EED PhDJeremy Grifski - 10/29/19, 3:16 PM That's when things got real sticky. Apparently, I hit a sore spot in the department because that's when I got the nastiest email of them all: Hi Jeremy, Good try, but that is not how it works. You continue to be a CSE Phd student until you petition to be an MS student. At that point, the details of a possible switch to MS will be determined. I had previously mentioned that you will be hired as a TA for SP20 regardless of the outcome of your decisions or what happens with the petition, etc. This is still the case. However, there is the possibility that your petition to convert from Phd to MS will be denied. Just stating all the facts.Per Graduate School rule for dual degrees, once you are an MS student, you can apply to EED for their Phd program. Here is the link: https://gradsch.osu.edu/applying-dual-degree.The best option though is for you to graduate with your CSE MS Sp20 or Su20 (if approved), then start your graduate program in EED Au20. This is what [CSE HR 2] mentioned as the program transfer. Here is information about the program transfer: https://gradsch.osu.edu/applying-dual-degreeI understand that support is important. You need to discuss this issue with the EED department if that will be your new home department. You can’t just hang around CSE to continue being a TA while you get a Phd in EED. Again, good try! However, there are other support options. You could apply to be a full-time lecturer with CSE, teaching 2-3 sections of cse2221. This means you would be an employee first and a student second; you are currently a student first and hired with student status as a TA second. Being an employee, teaching at least 7.5 credit hours (i.e. at least 2 sections of 2221), gives you full benefits including medical and (get this) a full tuition waiver for classes you take. So, you get paid as a lecturer – but only if you have an MS degree – for teaching two or three classes of cse2221 and get a tuition waiver. Bahda bing bahda boom – win win!I am going to reply to the [EED HR] email that I have talked with you and you can talk with EED. I don’t think it is appropriate for CSE and EED to “talk this out”. This is your rodeo. Good luck :o)CSE HR 1 - 10/29/19, 5:24 PM While there were nuggets of helpful information throughout this email, I felt like the tone was completely unprofessional and fairly nasty. Clearly, my response shares exactly how I was feeling at the time: Just to be clear, my intent was never to siphon money from the department. It was more as risk mitigation. On the off chance I don’t get accepted to the new department, I was planning on continuing my PhD here. It wouldn’t make sense to drop into a masters and end up on the streets by summer 2020. This was the original plan I had worked out with my advisor. That said, I’ll consider the options you laid out and let you know my plans. Jeremy Grifski - 10/29/19, 5:57 PM Of course, no matter how many times I explained myself, HR just didn't get it: :o) You can’t do a dual Phd degree… the Graduate School does not allow it. We need lecturers for 2221 and would/could hire you starting AU20 as a full-time lecturer like [Lecturer 1] and [Lecturer 2], [Lecturer 3] and [Lecturer 4]. That is, providing that [Course Coordinator] is on board with it – always have to check with the course coordinator.I just didn’t feel comfortable meeting with EED. I am trying to find a nice way to say thanks but no thanks to the meeting they requested. You have all the options, at least from CSE, now you have to figure out your path. CSE HR 1 - 10/29/19, 6:03 PM Well, that's a weird way of getting out of doing your job, but that's fine. As always, I'll figure it out myself. A Culture of Fear I suppose the whole point of me sharing these emails is to start a bit of a dialogue around the culture of fear in tech. In particular, I'm bothered by this weird hierarchy where the underlings are supposed to shut up and work, and there's quite literally no effort to retain talent. If you're like me and ask questions, you tend to get push back. This is now two roles in two completely different sectors of tech (industry vs. academy), and I'm seeing a lot of parallels in the way people are managed. Instead of valuing my work and providing opportunities for me to grow, management acts like I don't deserve to be there. As a result, I have to overwork to gain any sort of respect. In an ideal world, I would prefer a culture where hard work is rewarded. But, that shouldn't be the only thing that's rewarded. We should celebrate anyone who at the very least values ethics, balance, honesty, and growth. If someone raises an issue, their concern should be met with support—not disdain. Hopefully, I see some change in tech in my lifetime. Perhaps someday we'll see compassion fill our space. Until then, I'll contain to push for empathy in our introductory coding courses, so we can try address these cultural issues before they start. Looking Ahead Luckily for me, the folks in the Engineering Education department have been welcoming and supportive. At this point, I'm planning to follow my original plan of applying first then dropping into a Master if needed. Of course, I'm stuck waiting as usual. I won't know anything for sure until some time in January, In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if you gave this article a share and asked your friends and family to consider becoming patrons. After all, it's your support that allows me to continue fighting the good fight. While you're here, you might as well check out some of my other industry related rants: How to Spot a Bad MentorWhy Do We Reward Overwork?The Worst Professor Ever Otherwise, thanks for your support! I appreciate it.